SATAN'S PETTING ZOO

Your inner beast may not be the animal
you're looking for.

 
A group of college friends explore lycanthropy to solve their bully problem. What could go wrong? 
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ABOUT US

The DCM are a trio of courageous intellectuals who use their enhanced mental faculties to solve all the ills of the world. When they're not fighting crime, they... What? This is the "About Us" section for The DCM? Ugh! Those guys? Fine. Ah-hem... The Drunken Comicbook Monkeys are a trio of functioning alcoholics who write comedic speculative fiction. As to the funniness of their comedy, well, that's up to you to decide.

While The DCM have only a few short story collections under the moniker "The DCM," included on this page are other works by Brian Koscienski, Chris Pisano, and Jeff Young that could be covered under the umbrella of The DCM. Please check back often to keep up to date with the newest ways The DCM will make you laugh. Or cry. Or both. You never know with these guys...

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BRIAN KOSCIENSKI

Brian developed his love of writing from countless hours of reading comic books, losing himself in the different worlds and adventures within the colorful pages. He had minor successes early in his career by getting a few short stories published in independent ‘zines before teaming up with Chris and Jeff.

CHRIS PISANO

Chris was discouraged by his tenth grade English teacher from reading H. P. Lovecraft. Being naturally disobedient, Chris has been a fan ever since. He had minor successes early in his career by getting a few poems published before joining forces with Brian and Jeff.

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JEFF YOUNG
 

Jeff Young is a bookseller first and a writer second – although he wouldn’t mind a reversal of fortune. He received a Writers of the Future award for “Written in Light” which appears in the 26th L.Ron Hubbard’s Writers of the Future Anthology. The speed of his life jumped to warp 10 once he met Brian and Chris.

 
NOVELS
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Satan's Petting Zoo

Chad and his friends have a bully problem. The quarterback who harassed them for years is now on their college football team and eager to pick up where he left off. The Ink Stains, a gang of local thugs, offer to help Chad. He’s grateful until he learns the truth – they are a pack of lycanthropes who slaughter and eat a few of the tormenting football players. In a misguided attempt to take control of their lives by releasing their own inner beasts, Chad and his friends discover a way to become lycanthropes. When they change, they do not transform into the powerful werecreatures they had hoped. Instead, their inner beasts are a rabbit, a pheasant, a ferret, and an ox. 

 

The Ink Stains are anxious to eat them. A group of football players want revenge for their missing teammates. A pair of lycanthrope hunters with dubious intentions could help them or turn on them. They’re still trying to keep this a secret from their parents. It’s one thing to act like an animal, but what happens when you become one?

SHORT STORY COLLECTIONS
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The DCM in Scary Tales of Scariness

Vampires! Werewolves! Zombies! Join writers Brian Koscienski and Chris Pisano as they face down creepy creatures and mad monsters while they stumble their way through fifteen comedic tales of horror and suspense. They match wits with the devil! They go toe-to-toe with a slasher! They even fight a spider! Will they save the world? Or doom it? Or simply make monkeys out of themselves?

 

Whatever their fate, whatever the outcome, they do it all without every dropping a single beer...

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Scary Tales of Scariness - Reflux Edition

Revamped! Redone! Reworked! REFLUX! Much like the day after binge drinking and hot-wing gorging, the Drunken Comic Book Monkeys are back! Rejoin the monkeys through seventeen stories of misguided mayhem, tackling baddies like a Mummy, Drunkenstein, and even themselves! 

Rehashed! Retold! Reloaded! REFLUX edition contains many of the beloved stories from the original edition of "Scary Tales of Scariness" as well as rewritten stories, new stories, and a look behind the scenes. Take a bite out of this book and feel the burn! 

"After reading this book, I've decided to follow my dreams of becoming a rodeo clown." 

     --- Friedrich Nietzsche

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The DCM in Sciencey Tales of Science Fiction

Gravity! Centrifugal force! Boiling water! See these complex scientific phenomena confuse the Drunken Comic Book Monkeys as they traipse through twelve feature length science fiction stories. 

They argue with talking grapes! They confound mad scientists! They hang out with the invisible man! Watch as they wander around aimlessly through parodies of some of your favorite sci-fi classics. 

They get shrunken! They get cloned! They get shot to the moon! What will happen when they act as Earth's ambassadors to an alien life form? What will happen when they try to reach the center of the Earth? Whatever the outcome, hilarity, hijinks, and mayhem are bound to ensue!

ANTHOLOGIES WE HAVE STORIES IN
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TV Gods

Your favorite TV shows done by the gods themselves! 

The great pantheons of the world run amok through eighteen tales of wonder and hilarity. Discover how the Egyptian gods use a night court for judging the souls of the dead. What will happen when an office of Greek gods gets downsized? Why are Norse gods on a space ship? There are stooges building a world! Deities on gameshows! Cerberus on a children's show! Stay tuned for these shows and more! 

No TV show is safe! 

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TV Gods: Summer Programming

Your favorite TV shows done by the gods themselves! 

The heat of the summer has driven the gods of history to take refuge on the small screen. Once again we bring you the unholy juxtaposition of your favorite television shows overrun by your favorite pantheons. 

The White House's state of the nation address will never be the same when delivered by Brahma. The Greek castaways on a small island will have to make the best of things since their three-hour tour didn't go as planned. Can an unlikely partnership unravel a murder, or is the killing destined to become another X-Scroll? These eighteen tales will provide binge-worthy entertainment to help you beat the heat!